European Union: how to ensure a stupid administration

August 5th, 2010 by Romeo Anghelache

Here’s how to ensure a stupid and mecanic administration in the European Union:

  1. First, organize a complex activity of exams, then forget about those who pass them.
  2. Second, write the staff regulations, which are reasonable in size but contain idiotic provisions, like:
    1. – split the contract and temporary agents into groups, each group with several steps
    2. – then put them into probationary periods at half of the duration of their contracts, so if you get a contract for 1 year, you have a probationary period of 6 to 9 months (depends on the group you belong to)
      this provision ensures that if you get hired you are kept on your toes, you will wear a tie and a uniform, and think conformist: any (maybe rightful sometimes) conflict has a chance to end your job.
      a probationary period of 6 months for a contract of 3 years sounds reasonable; a probationary period of 9 months for a contract of 2 years is a statement that you will have nothing to say and have nothing better to do but to move from an agency to another unless you’re prepared to kiss some strategic ass.
      and what is the meaning of a probationary period for somebody who has 16 years work experience in chunks of 3 to 10 years?
    3. – then, another idiocy: “produces the appropriate character references as to his suitability for the performance of his duties”; which confirms that the probationary period is there to make your personality and brain smooth.
    4. – then require that the applicant fills a form describing his entire life; the form being different from European Agency to European Agency, BUT written in Microsoft Word of course;
    5. – then charge an Agency with defining a standard form for applications in the entire EU administration, then forget about it; each with his own;
    6. – then, at the interview, bring a commission of people in ties and uniforms, applying a machine test with childish, kindergarten-like, questions to the poor applicant in front of them, who managed to fly or travel over a few countries to reach that place;
    7. – then, for the technical people, offer them contracts of two years renewable, but for those who got MBAs in humanities, give them 5 year contracts, ‘coz, I assume, it’s harder to check if what they’re doing is right;
    8. – then, along with the application form that is supposed to describe your life, force the applicant to fill some other three forms for reimbursement of travel to the interview: and guess how two of them are named “Legal entity” and “Financial entity”;
    9. – name the payment for your contracted service: “Emoluments“. so that it sounds UN-like. hearing people asking each other: did you get your emolument this month?
  3. – those application forms, I have the feeling that they’re completed for a machine; is there a person who reads them up in the end? what’s wrong with a structured CV in their stead? I can imagine some serious-looking drones fluffing around stacks of paper and administering databases containing just a job application, ridiculous, wouldn’t you agree?
  4. Idiots. There’s so much more to write but I don’t have the nerves to continue.

What stupid bureaucratic drones designed this system so as to break the patience and determination of any life form with a mind of its own?

I suggest an EU commission be formed, with four persons not wearing a tie. These should be sent in U.S. for a year, to apply for a job continuously, and learn how this should be done in a straightforward way, then get those people to write a goddamn simple and effective methodology for recruiting people in the EU administration.

I had two interviews by now with two EU agencies, guys, once I saw you “at work”, I had strong doubts that if I would have been offered the job I would have accepted it. Fortunately, i was spared the dilemma, I didn’t get an offer.

I’ve just located another opening, 9 month probationary, 2 years contract. I will skip this one, and the rest of them with these conditions. I am not a lifeless billiard ball to be bounced around by mindless drones.

Comments are closed.